Measures by Kelly Garrity

Kelly Garrity

Infertility is a disease and constant battle that has many faces. Every version of the journey is unique whether you have had one miscarriage or three, pprom, stillbirth, years of not getting pregnant, one facet is the same. We have no control over what is happening to our body and in many cases, though we give A LOT of blood with a lot of other tests, no magic cure comes. Instead, things become measured.

Ask me what day it is and I may respond with 14 DPO or CD 1. Though my journey is still being written, measurement has become a part of it, and I imagine will be forever imprinted on my soul.

41: the number of months we have been married

18: the number of months we have been trying to conceive

14: the number of months since our first miscarriage

7: the number of months we have been “in treatment”

3: the number of times my heart has splintered, but not broken

2: the number of heartbeats heard

1: the newest next step of the process

Infinite: the hope I hold onto

The truth is that I am still learning to lean on my husband and those around me for the support needed while working through the grief of losing three babies and the uncertainty of yet another new treatment. All the while I cling onto the hope that one day this journey comes to an end that I can make peace with, whether with a child or childfree, but whose imprint will never leave me.

How do you measure your journey?

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Bio: Kelly lives near the nation’s capital with her loving husband and loyal labrador. She has come through her first year of infertility and loss while finding strength in being a part of this wonderful community. In her free time she enjoys coaching singles and synchronized figure skating.

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