Image: Sarah Caito
So many things she longs for
the sound of his voice
the stomp of his feet
running down the hall
his giggle
his cry
the back and forth of bedtime
the smell of his morning yawn
him waking her each day
she waits for him
maybe he will come
maybe if she checks his room
just one more time
he will be there
this time
playing with his toys
laying with his doopy
watching his movies
so quietly that she just had to make sure
he was still there
no matter how many times
she checks his room
looks out the window
when a car door shuts
he still isn’t there
it has been one month today
the longest month of this woman’s life
she has made it here
without him
she sits and wonders
where this time went
how each hour has melted
into one big nightmare
waiting to wake up
praying this time
he will be there
while knowing in her heart
that he is gone
Bio: Sarah Caito is a wife and mother of 4. Two children here on Earth and two awaiting her in Heaven. This poem was written for a dear friend. On October 30, 2010 her friend’s son, Austin, was 4 years old and playing in his grandparents backyard. He fell and hit his head and was gone. Austin’s life and death and seeing his Mother go through all that she has have been life changing. Grieving with her and for her have become a part of the new normal. This poem was written for his mom.
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Amazing and touching poem, Sarah
What a heartbreaking and beautifully written piece, I am typing through my tears. As a bereaved mom of a baby that died not long after her birth I know what that grief and loss feels like. I hope and pray I will never know the experience of losing an older child. I will share this with two friends who have lost older children (one also at age 4 and the other at age 11). I am sure this will resonate with them.
Thank you for sharing this in honor and memory of your friend’s son. May he rest in peace. I like to imagine that all the children who have left this world too soon are somehow together (in my vision it is in Heaven) and that brings me some peace and comfort.