New yarn sits splayed across my lap.
Endless rows cover my expanding belly.
I hope to recall the stitches from memory.
Mindlessly I weave under and over, tiny kicks rumble my work.
Undoing my mistakes, I am surprised how much I have forgotten, how much I remember.
Stuck at a corner again, I am relieved to see my nurse/crochet instructor return.
They climb to my lap to poke curious fingers at the tangled beginning.
There are intricacies in my pattern, color changes and future dreams soon to be shattered.
Pulling the yarn further out, I see the knots forming.
I am almost finished.
Making peace with my attempt, I resign to admire my work.
Unraveled and already frayed,
and woven in vivid colors
that have finally chosen me.
Bio: Jessica Watson is the mother to five, four in her arms and one in her heart. Her daughter Hadley, one of triplets, passed away as an infant due to complications from prematurity. Jessica blogs about the life she has lost and the perspective she has gained at Four Plus an Angel. You can also find her on Facebook and twitter.
Images: Jessica Watson