By Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.
This newly published book (January 2011) was written by the authors of two successful and widely read books for parents who have lost children: Waiting for Gabriel: A Story of Cherishing a Baby’s Brief Life and Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby. I read both of them during my family’s five year roller coaster ride through secondary infertility, pregnancy loss and neonatal death. They helped me to cope and to heal throughout our journey, especially before and after the birth and death of our second child, Molly, who was born and died in April 2008.
I wish A Gift of Time had existed when we got the diagnosis and prognosis for our baby girl early on in the second trimester of our pregnancy. I am pleased that it is now available as a resource for anyone going forward given diagnoses and prognoses that their unborn children may not live long before or after they are born.
A Gift of Time was very moving for me to read, and I could relate to so many of the contributors’ stories. Over 120 parents (including myself) shared their personal experiences with the authors to help make this possible and are quoted throughout the text. I really like how the authors tied it all together with their thoughtful and informative commentary throughout the book. The book is also well organized with a detailed Table of Contents, so that readers can either approach it from beginning to end, or pick and choose the parts that may best apply to their situation or where they are at any given time on their journeys.
I also found it healing to read A Gift of Time at this point on our journey (almost three years since Molly’s birth and death), as we never get over the death of our children. It has helped in my efforts of continuing to work through my grief and make peace with our loss. I think this book is an insightful resource for those who have been there and for those who will someday live through such an experience. I also highly recommend A Gift of Time for friends, family members, medical professionals and support staff that care for those who are pregnant with babies who are not expected to live long.
**Reprinted from Exhale’s Spring 2011 Issue
Kathy Benson is Exhale’s Contributing Editor. Kathy is a Domestic Engineer with three children (two here and one in Heaven) trying to live mindfully and find joy in the journey after dealing with secondary infertility and pregnancy loss for over five years. She blogs at Bereaved and Blessed and you can follow her on Twitter @BereavedBlessed